I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
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My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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