She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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