My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
