normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.