Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator

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  (310): she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator http://tfl.nu/t2x8
  Replies (16) Good night (524) Bad night (3108) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

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  (858): I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it. http://tfl.nu/e9ge
  Replies (26) Good night (1901) Bad night (2714) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.

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  (212): Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right. http://tfl.nu/eck5
  Replies (8) Good night (5320) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?

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  (415): if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays? http://tfl.nu/4fwl
  Replies (26) Good night (861) Bad night (4566) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent

  (770): View more from Georgia

  don't you ever do that...

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  (404): i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent (770): don't you ever do that... http://tfl.nu/61yw
  Replies (29) Good night (4409) Bad night (820)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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  (412): I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts. http://tfl.nu/rew4
  Replies (24) Good night (860) Bad night (5287) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving

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  (972): Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving http://tfl.nu/e1pp
  Replies (13) Good night (4579) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.

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  (360): I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true. http://tfl.nu/2syb
  Replies (33) Good night (6042) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.

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  (724): The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape. http://tfl.nu/5pgg
  Replies (5) Good night (2199) Bad night (694)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?

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  (917): mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right? http://tfl.nu/fjzr
  Replies (7) Good night (1155) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.

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  (865): I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it. http://tfl.nu/3j3f
  Replies (4) Good night (438) Bad night (1325) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough

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  (931): pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough http://tfl.nu/s0pj
  Replies (4) Good night (392) Bad night (988) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,

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  (609): i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina, http://tfl.nu/dlk2
  Replies (15) Good night (950) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.

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  (636): On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013. http://tfl.nu/kcos
  Replies (6) Good night (915) Bad night (195) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  was I really that bad?

  (616): View more from Michigan

  you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage

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  (231): was I really that bad? (616): you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage http://tfl.nu/4ubm
  Replies (1) Good night (486) Bad night (197)

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