Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
