so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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