hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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