Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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