I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
