id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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