Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
