it was like eating out sand paper
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
