Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm having to shit out rocks
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