i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
