Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She bit a glass in half.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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