No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
