he was CRYING into my vagina
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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