Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
