your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
