Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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