Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
why do cheetos always look like penises
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
