Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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