People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
