just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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