Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
