i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
