are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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