We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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