doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
