I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
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