I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
