Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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