after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
