No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
