Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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