whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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