The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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