Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
