Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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