If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
