the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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