God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
