Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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