: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize