New invention idea: vibrating tampons
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
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I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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