so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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