This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
