I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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