I just cut my nipple shaving
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Houston, we have a blender
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is Oprah even human
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
