living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
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i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
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Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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