Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
