mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
