Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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