I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
home. puking in laundry basket.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
