I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
