Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize