well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
