You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize