i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
