I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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