he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
