just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
